Justice 

This weeks tarot is making me a little nervous. 

Justice represents a conscious awareness that your decisions and actions have long-term consequences and your present and future circumstances are most likely a result of these decisions and actions. At the same time, Justice shows that your actions in the future can be changed by a lesson learned in the present situation. You cannot become honest without extending that honesty to yourself and others.

I believe I do live my life honestly. I haven’t always.  Anxiety and a lack of belief in myself have in the past made true honesty difficult.  But I’ve works on it for a long time.

What does this card mean for my week? Will I be challenged somehow? Is there an unknown legal battle coming up? Where am I out of balance? 

I’ll need to meditate on it I guess. And wait and see. 

Will I have a home to go to?


Being an ex pat right now is scary shit. At least for me.  When I was making my plans to move to Germany everyone joked “is it because of Trump? Haha” “if Trump wins, I just might join you! Wink wink”  Nobody believed, or admitted to believing, that we could be where we are right now.

Part of me is glad to be living far away.  The other part of me feels like a traitor and thinks I should go home and fight the good fight.  

I do what I can from Berlin.  I write, I call, I vote, I march.  But is it enough? 

Of course my headline is over dramatic – but I do worry.  What will “home” be like?  The issues here feel bigger than liberal/conservative.  I live on a Visa in Germany.  Will they react to me as an American? Will any trips home be tougher? Will they question me because of my travels? 

Setting my intention for the week 

It’s going to be a good week when you pull The Magician.  

The Magician Tarot card typically appears in a Tarot reading at a time in your life when you have the creative power and energy to create a new life cycle for yourself. You have the ability to take the power of the Universe and manifest your desires. The Magician Tarot card suggests that a situation has been (or soon will be) presented to you that has all the inherent components to allow the manifestation of your desires. Those desires may be spiritual (fire), physical (earth), emotional (water), or mental (air), and are each aligned with the four elements of the Tarot. You have the ability to make it happen!

I’ve been using the tarot to help me focus on Sunday nights.  I think of what’s important for the week ahead and pull a single card. 

I’ve been struggling a little to make good progress at work.  I’m used to a much more aggressive culture – tempering that has been tricky.  I really want to get things moving next week. 

The Magician card sees you creating success in everything that you do. This is a Tarot card about manifesting your goals by utilising the skills, tools and resources that are available to you. The Magician suggests that you will come up with creative ways to solve problems and you will be able to use your existing knowledge and networks to arrive at solutions.

Perhaps this is a good sign. 

In the Sunday Crock Pot 

Sunday Crock Pot has been a tradition of mine for years.  As soon as it gets even slightly cold, bam – out comes the pot. 

Football is over (Go Pats!!!) but it’s still chilly here in Berlin.  In the 7 months I’ve lived here I’ve stuck to my old American recipes.  Heute nicht! I’m in the mood for a real German Sunday dinner (just, my style) 

I’ve loaded her up with pork roast, sauerkraut, beer garlic and other aromatics. I can’t wait for dinner now.

I hope your day is as lovely as my apartment smells 🙂 

Saturday Shopping! 

One of the hardest things for me to get used to when I moved to Berlin is everything being closed on Sunday.   Having to get everything done on Saturday made me frantic and cranky. 

Now though I love it.  I enjoy joining everyone bustling around at the grocery, the butcher, the bakery.  It gives me a sense of community as we all stroll the streets in search of our weekly flowers, Saturday wine and Sunday bread. 

The Saturday shopping frenzy also helps give Sunday that special feeling of peace and relaxation.

I kinda like it. 

Daily pains when you don’t know the language well 

I’ve had a bad back my whole life.  Grew with a scoliosis problem that went untreated until I was in my late teens.  Dealing with this involves a mix of yoga, chiropractors, acupuncture and daily tricks around sitting and standing.  

I never thought about how difficult this was going to be in a new country where I only know the basics of the language.  

My doctor speaks English, but it’s still isn’t simple really explaining the issues.

It took me 6 months to find a chiropractor that speaks English.  

I can’t find a lot of the otc remedies I normally use (since nothing is really OTC) 

It’s just a process – like everything else.  It’s also proving that every time I think my Deutsch has progressed it’s still pretty Kindergarten level. 

I have a lot more empathy for immigrants to any country now than I did before.  

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It finally clicked. I LIVE here.

I moved to Berlin in June 2016.   But it was only this past weekend that I felt like I live here and not just enjoying an extended vacation.

For the first 6 months I was here I was living in a furnished rental, which was lovely but it wasn’t conducive to getting really comfortable.   Almost every day something “new” happened.  I was struggling with the basics of the language (even though English is very common) I was a long term tourist.  Even my job was a constant stream of “What? This can’t be right.”

Right before I went to Boston for the holidays I moved into my own apartment in a new, cosier neighborhood.  I got my own bed, my own dishes.  I didn’t have to worry about what the cats were on.  I changed teams at work to take on something new.

Last weekend I was sick. Really sick.  (It was just a cold but I am a huge baby)  On Saturday while I was laying around whimpering about my head cold, I went into my kitchen and made some tea and a snack.  And that was it.  I was home.  I lived here.   In Berlin.  And I was going to be here for awhile.   And it was great.  I felt something shift, something ease.   Most days I still learn something new, but I have a routine.  I can communicate in the most basic of ways about daily tasks.  I’m excited about having a long term plan at work.

My next thought was “Oh Scheisse, I need to work on my German more”

I’m home.